Let me try and make myself even less popular with the female minority(*) of the human species

On the occasion of the upcoming “big day” that is almost entirely invented by florists and the bric-a-brac manufacturers of this world, I would like to share my humble thoughts about diamonds.

Yes, that chemical compound, that metastable allotrope of carbon, that sparkling gem promoted by Marilyn Monroe as a girl’s best friend.

WARNING: Dear female readers, you may wish to skip the rest of the blog in order to avoid being disenchanted about diamonds.  Have a look at this blog post instead and continue reading at your own peril.

Guys, what I am about to share is a dirty little secret of the jewellery industry:

A friend of a friend of mine (doesn’t that sound like the classic opening for an urban legend?) took it up with his jeweller and asked: “How about this deal?  Will you guarantee that if the diamond you sold me turns out to be a fake, I will be refunded?”

His reply was, “No.”

“The reason,” he said, “is unscrupulous customers.”  “A person could buy a real diamond, substitute it for a fake, and then return for a refund the next day.  How does one prevent that?”

My friend’s friend then asked the jeweller whether he could identify a fake diamond.  Suppose he was shown two diamonds—one real and one fake, would he be able to tell the difference?  The jeweller said that he should be able to identify the fake diamond; nevertheless, he wasn’t willing to take the chance of accidentally picking the wrong one.

Ahaah, does that means that a fake diamond looks so identical to a real diamond that even a trained jeweller isn’t able to differentiate both just from looking at them?

That’s actually great news for us guys.  Because if a fake diamond is so hard to spot, why buy a real diamond in the first place?  Why not buy a fake diamond instead?  It’s about 99 % cheaper and no one will be wiser.

If you just want bling, because you or your girlfriend admire a diamond’s sparkle, go with a “genuine fake” diamond; a synthetic Cubic Zirconia (its sparkles are more colourful) or a synthetic Moissanite (it has even more sparkles than diamonds).

Why should you be a slave to fashion?  Why not be part of the latest trend of “inconspicuous consumption” and spend the saved money in a more meaningful way, like unique and memorable experiences?  Or magically compounding those savings through your investments in the stock market for financial freedom and future peace of mind, or— in the case that you have already achieved that—donate it to a charitable cause where you personally know the recipients and can observe clearly the impact of your donation in their lives?

For you ladies who have read up to this point, despite my explicit warning: “Why did you not heed the warning?”  And now you feel a bit doubtful about your existent collection of diamonds, right?  But not to worry, I have good news because there are many ways to ascertain if a diamond is real.

You could, for example, take an x-ray examination together with your collection because a real diamond, having a radiolucent molecular structure, would not appear in the x-ray images, whereas, a fake diamond would be clearly visible.  Nonetheless, despite it sounding like a great bonding opportunity, that testing method is really not recommended; thus check out some of the other methods under Wikihow.

In case your check results in a positive (sic!) identification of a fake diamond, do remember that the act of giving is much more valuable than the pure value of the gift; hence be proud of your boyfriend’s / husband’s frugality.

Oh, yes, before I forget

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

 

 

 

Lastly, a final remark: Have you noticed that our friends’ friends have much more interesting lives than our friends themselves?

(*) Much as I wish the female population to be in the majority, there are actually about 70 Million more males than females roaming earth right now.  That sounds like a lot.  Still, in most countries, the sex ratio is quite close to 1:1; one big exception is Qatar, where there are 3.3 males for each female!  Talk about being spoilt for choice!