Me pondering about where I am and what I have achieved:
I don’t reach optimum contribution levels because I believe everything is important.
Sounds familiar?
In truth, only a few things are essential.
To practice the skill of identifying those vital few, start by applying it to everyday decisions. When it’s second nature apply it to bigger things.
Learn to say: ‘Thanks, But No Thanks.’
Many of us are reluctant to say no to others because we’re afraid of creating conflict. But we need to say no to nonessential activities in order to say yes to the most important things.
The key is saying ‘no’ gracefully by rejecting the activity, but not the person.
Think of a recent request that you agreed to, but that left you feeling resentful or taken advantage of.
Why did you agree in the first place?
…
I’ve learned that if I can’t say ‘no’, I can’t say ‘yes’ either.
If I haven’t been willing and able to say ‘no’, every time I say ‘yes’ is potentially at least a partial lie because I can’t say ‘yes’ to everything.
Being able to say ‘no’ makes it possible to wholeheartedly commit to ‘yes’.
Saying ‘no’ and being willing to put a period after it and make it a complete sentence, is simply life-changing.
- It lets you prioritize your true priorities.
- It helps you respect your own time, which should be far more valuable than the other person’s time.
- It makes your ‘yes’ truly meaningful.
- It helps you speak your truth without angering the other person and without inviting coercion.
- If you haven’t tried it, it’s certainly worth trying a few times to see how it works for you!
CAUTION – It will make you uncomfortable first because saying ‘no’ is socially awkward. There seem to be only two options: say ‘no’ and endure the immediate awkwardness, or say ‘yes’ and regret it much longer.
But while we hardly have control over our options, we always have control over how we choose among them.
We have the invincible power of choosing to choose.
We can choose to learn to say no gracefully and even get people to respect us for it in the process.
Because sometimes in life what we don’t do is just as important as what we do.
What are you going to say ‘no’ to tomorrow?